October 13th, 2025 - Coconut Flan
Dear TNY,
“Coconut Flan” is…bad.
While the narrative is clean and clear, the story goes from nowhere to nowhere. I know I’ve said this before, but if a story doesn’t do anything, narrative-wise, then it needs to be written in language that’s so crisp and fresh it can carry the story. Think The Mezzanine. But, bad news here, this story doesn’t have that. So it’s just a woman whose passport is stolen and then returned. That’s it.
And, surprise surprise, she’s the victim. This story is about the atrocities of America, her never going back, the shitty system making it difficult to get a passport (which, by the way, having had my passport stolen in Köln and not returned, I can tell you that while the process is…brutalist, I walked out with a temporary passport the same day, so I’m not sure how true this dumb shit is), her face being forgettable, and on and on. Victim. And I just don’t care about that shit. Tell me you’re sorry and what you are sorry for. Or else forget it.
In other news, I am deeply sad. I’m not going to get into it today. Because you don’t care either, for the most part. And I get why. I have trouble moving on. I know that. The thing that, distilled, represents what I’m trying to cling to to stay alive is a message I got from a friend, the nicest person on planet earth, the other day:
You did nothing wrong. You gave everything you had to that person. And they are a damn fucking fool for not realizing what a gift you are. And how fortunate they are to have had opportunity to your heart.
I’ll spin my wheels on shit forever. But I think that encapsulates my experience, not just with that person but with all the persons. My internal mechanisms tell me I fucked up all over the place. But the data is true for most that I dated, how fortunate that specific “they” was, considering the exclusivity amongst the rest to that specific part and how much of it they got and fucking didn’t understand or passed on.
Well, that’s it. I’m fighting the depression hour by hour. I’m still alive. Yesterday was bad. Today is better. I don’t know what comes next.
Nick
