October 23rd, 2023 - I Am Pizza Rat

Dear TNY,

It’s not Monday and I just got to “I Am Pizza Rat”.

I’m glad I waited until today, to be honest with you.  I wish I had waited forever.  I swear to God I have no idea why I waste my fucking time with your cockamamie bullshit stories.  I couldn’t even finish this one.  There’s no fucking access point for narrative interest or potential transcendence.  Where do we let the reader into anything that is worthy of our time with this pile of lumpy dogshit?  Spoiler alert:  We don’t.  This story is banal, T to fucking B.  I couldn’t find a single thing in what little I read of this (about half) that was redeeming.  Do you hear that?  Let that sink in.  The shit you picked, and continue to pick, isn’t worthy of human time.  Like, it’s so fucking bad that I’m going to do the dishes and a bunch of other shit I don’t want to do instead of read it.   

But cool story, bro.  Way to “literature”.

What a waste of a platform. You’re disgusting.

Also, I guess I had an essay picked as “notable” in BAE 2023.  Imagine that.  Second time too.  Your little fanboy loser who doesn’t know jackshit about fuckall, same guy that runs a site dedicated to picking apart your “literature”, turns out he’s got chops.  What is this world coming to?

Well, until next week when I’m sure you’ll disappoint me again.

Eat all the dicks, baby.

Nick